A Nosey Belly

When pregnancy does crazy things to my body, I have fun finding the humor in all of it. After all, my body is going to do what it needs to do whether I like it or not. Like gain 50+ pounds with Grant (I stopped looking at the scale once I hit that at 37 weeks!) and about 45 with Lilly, or cause me to have awesome acne that closely resembles the crap I dealt with as a teenager. The list is much longer, but I'm sure you can use your imagination!

I really got self conscious yesterday at the gym when I saw my profile in the mirror walking out of the locker room. I'll only be 22 weeks pregnant this week and my belly button is protruding like I have it pierced with a bottle cap or something!!!And it's even more awesome that people look at me like they've never seen a pregnant woman at the gym?!?! Annoying! Then I got home and pulled out the camera to get a 21 week belly shot, zoomed in and saw what looked like a nose! On my belly. Nice.

Grant and Lilly seem particularly amused by this and love kissing my belly! Pregnancy is amazingly natural, but somewhat strange all at the same time. Can't wait to meet this little one in a few months and hopefully say goodbye to my alien belly button :)

21 Weeks!

Not My Usual

One of the reasons I keep this blog is to vent and journal my feelings. Good and bad. Most of you have probably noticed that I'm positive and happy the majority of the time...well, this will not be my usual post. And you get to listen as I just get some stuff off my chest - thanks in advance.

Here's a quick snapshot of the last 5 or 6 weeks...I'll try and spare you most of the details. Our routine is completely different during the day with childcare/preschool/Tim's student teaching/etc., our time with the kids is so much shorter in the evenings, Grant hasn't slept through the night since Christmas and is waking at least 4 or 5 times (sometimes up to 8 times) every night screaming, crying, and completely disoriented, both kiddos are getting over ear infections (which has elevated the sleep problems to whole new proportions in the last two weeks), and I'm fighting some serious anxiety of how I'm going to do all of this with dignity after June.

I guess what I'm getting at in all of that is I'm just starting to crack. I've held it together pretty well over the last few weeks. I'm kinda getting good at putting on a front...that's what I do 8 hours of the day in front of customers. Smiley, happy, customer friendly Beth! I think I'm finally at the point where I'm about to lose it. I get up, even if it's only on 2 or 3 hours of sleep, trying to focus on the good of the day and be the mom, wife, and employee I need to be. Today, I just gave in to the emotions...

I left the house this morning in tears. By the time I got out of the neighborhood I was in full sobbing mode. Not the first time that's happened, and guaranteed to not be the last. The minute my foot crosses the threshold of the door onto the front porch, I feel this overwhelmingly heavy guilt as I listen to both of the kids cry for me. I've talked about this before, I'm sure, but I swear I think it'll get easier with time. It just hasn't. I'm so afraid it never will.

I mean, what's so great about having a double income anyway? Could we raise a family of 5 on a teacher's salary? Is my job really worth it? Does it really matter that I'm trying to get my time/money worth out of my MBA? Ahhh!!!!

I'll finish by saying that I know I am truly blessed and I try so hard not take for granted the things God has put in my life. I am learning to praise him in ALL circumstances, but I'm not perfect. I know there are incredible amounts of people and parents fighting tremendously difficult situations right now that I can't even begin to fathom. Guess I'm just caught up in my own little drama for the moment.

That feels better...thanks for reading! Hope you have a good day!

The Germs Attack

A necessary evil of being a working mother is tracking down safe, reliable, affordable (ha ha!) childcare outside of the home. Our kids are young, but we've had our variety of providers already as our circumstances have changed several times in the last three years.

One thing that's unfortunately stayed consistent through the changes are the runny noses and ear infections, which are going to make me go gray!! No matter where you go - church, public childcare, or in-home childcare - they're all the same: just a bunch of money eating GERM FACTORIES! There...I said it. And now you know how I really feel about where my hard money goes so my kids can just come home, get sick, proceed to get mommy and daddy sick, cause mommy to stay home and tend to the yuckiness, and all the while not sleep while they're sick.

Perfect example - Lilly just started in a childcare ministry at a church right around the corner (which has great teachers and very friendly staff working there). I really do like them, but she's there last Monday and Wednesday and a week and half later is STILL sick. Ear-infection sick. Not-sleeping-at-all sick. Have-to-stay-at-home-while-they-still-get-mommy's-money sick. You get the idea...it's making me crazy and I want my happy Lilly back!

Almost Halfway!

I'm not so sure where the time has gone, but we're 19 1/2 weeks preggo! WOW!! The baby is constantly moving now...I am in love...glowing...grateful...

I have to admit, I'm a little emotional too. I know - you're shocked. Pregnancy hormones would never do that to me, right?! I'm most emotional about Lilly. (I'm tearing up just typing this!)Weird. My little Lillybean won't be the baby anymore. She has to move rooms. She'll be in the third row in the car after June. Oh, the middle child crap is happening already!!!!! But, if this mama is right, she'll be the only girl anyway :) I see spa days with mama and Lilly in my future!

My heart is so full for these three little ones!!!!

Our New Routine

Before I had kids, I used to think that just getting myself out the door on-time in the morning with matching socks, the dog fed, and my purse in hand was a chore! I might have slightly underestimated how easy that really was...

Getting out the door has become quite the event in the Kegley house the last two weeks. We've had lots of changes in our schedules and it's been crazy. I'm totally in awe of how working moms do this day after day and stay sane because after a week of them, I'm SPENT!

Timmy's time as a part-time stay-at-home dad has ended :( We have been SO blessed with the opportunity for him to stay with the kids 3 days a week since he's been back in school full time. It's been over two years!! Priceless, priceless time with our babies. He is truly an amazing father for making the sacrifices he did, but we're excited to see him move onto the next chapter in his life too. He started student teaching last Monday and now leaves the house everyday at 6:30am, which is pretty much what the real world does anyway, right? I guess I've just been spoiled for so long!

We also started potty training Grant, which is worthy of a few more posts in itself. That has changed LOTS of dynamics in this house! But wait, there's more...Lilly started going to a childcare ministry at a church around the corner every Monday and Wednesday. It's quite a juggling act getting it all organized, but it seems to be working for us. We're still SO blessed to have Tim's parents helping us out in tremendous ways with our children so that makes most of the days a little easier.

So, my list of things to get out the door with has slightly multiplied. Some days I seriously think it's a miracle if I remember to put on a bra and brush my teeth. Okay, that might be exaggerating a little, but not really :)

Check out my new, sparkly shoes!! They match my PJ's too!

Very happy to see her daddy :)

Loving my bedtime snack...ice cream sandwiches! Still good in January!

Grant and his choo-choo. GeoTrax is taking over the kitchen table!

Not So Shy

So, I barely got out hello to the ultrasound technician Thursday before I told her we did NOT want to know the sex of our little one this time around. She was good with that and Tim and I have been set on the idea since the day we found out we were pregnant. But, being through two ultrasounds, I have somewhat of an idea of what to look for...not smart for me to watch during this one. I think I know...but it could have just been a stray finger...

We're 18 weeks along and everything looked great with the baby! I wasn't surprised that the baby was movin' and shakin' the whole time the poor tech was trying to get some good shots. This baby has been extremely active already! I have a feeling that's why I caught a few glimpses of our not so shy baby. At one point while she was trying to get a look at the spine, it was laying with it's feet straight out and that's when I think I got the money shot :)

We'll be surprised either way, because last time I checked I'm not an trained ultrasound tech! I'm really glad we didn't find out (at least definitively!) what this precious little one is yet. Labor will be even more fun this time around...ha ha!

Goals vs. Resolutions

Everyone's talking about New Year's Resolutions...well, I pretty much gave up on those. I mean, who really keeps them? Maybe 1% of us? According to something our pastor saw it's actually 8%...still pretty crappy. And they're always the same! Lose weight, eat better, drink more water (which has been on Tim's list for years it seems - love you honey!), spend more time doing this or doing that, etc. Not that it can't work, but they've never for stuck for me as long as I call them "resolutions."

So, what does work for my semi-type A personality is "goals." And making a point to write them down. Some of them seem a little trivial, but if it doesn't get put down, it's unlikely it'll happen. I'm a list kinda gal! In 2010, it finally clicked for me. I wrote my goals down (on Grant and Lilly's Magna Doodle!), took a picture of them on my phone so I could check in on them all year, and then sent them to Tim. I needed someone to hold me to the list! I met most of them and have improved on the others. So exciting to see the progress! So, here's the old and new list for all the world to see in hopes that it'd encourage you too...

2010:

1. Build our savings: down payment here we come...thanks to the Dave Ramsey plan :)
2. Grow out my hair: pre-natals are helping that one
3. Get pregnant: WOOHOO!!!
4. SERVE: please pray that the ministry opportunity I applied for finally comes through in 2011 if it's God's will, it's been since August when I applied and I'm a little discouraged
5. Read the bible more: getting there, but finally have a good plan in place to make it happen in 2011
6. Work out at least 3 times/week: YES!!

2011:

1. Save, save, save!
2. Serve in a regular ministry and pray for other doors to open
3. Work out at least 4 times/week
4. Develop a stronger spiritual discipline in my life
5. Keep balance in family life and work
6. Find ways to live selflessly and sacrificially

We all have things we want to work on and change in our lives. The key for me was keeping them handy, on my phone, and constantly checking my progress. And now with my handy-dandy blog, and a new phone pic, you all get to keep me accountable this year! Good luck with your resolutions and goals!

Our Circle

I'm a little late on this one...

Tim and I hosted a party a few weeks ago for the holidays. Awesome spread of yummy food and desserts, great White Elephant exchange, and tons of laughter! Pretty normal party, right? Well not really because I just have to brag on our friends - what a fantastic, fun, and genuine group of people! I truly feel like Tim and I have an exception circle of friends around us. Before the party, the last time I had stood back and looked around a room full of our closest friends and family and felt overwhelmingly blessed was our wedding...I am still in awe of the people God has put in our lives.

Just check out the pictures...at one point we had the entire group of us (over 20 people) sandwiched shoulder to shoulder around our kitchen table playing Left Right Center (SOOOOO fun!). People from high school, college, church, and the neighborhood. Definitely an eclectic group, but everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and it's the most fun I've had in a long time. Just one of those get-togethers I won't soon forget. Thanks friends :)

A great gift...coffee and chocolate!!


Stealing the wine...good choice!

Concentrating on a little game of Celebrity (sorta like Charades). Hilarious!

LCR. Best. Game. Ever.

East Coast Road Trip

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas celebrating the birth of our saviour!! We had the privilege of spending the holidays with my family in Baltimore this year, but that meant a loooong road trip. For being strapped in a car for over a 9 hour drive, the kids did great, but it wasn't without a few moments of crazy wanting-to-put-my-head-through-the-windshield stress (but, I probably wouldn't have been able to do that anyway being sandwiched between two big Britax car seats with no room to wiggle...ha ha!). Anyway, it was so worth it...

I'm learning that Christmas is becoming all about my kids. Grant and Lilly both finally seemed to appreciate the whole gift opening idea and tore into their presents. So fun to watch! They seemed to really enjoy being with their Nana and Papa and became even more attached to them while we were in MD. We had a lot of family that had never met Lilly so that was fun to show off my little girl!

It's good to be home, but it sure does make me miss my extended family. They are precious to me and I hate that I only see them once, maybe twice, a year. Good thing for weddings so I can head back every now and then! I'll get to take a trip in September with the new baby for my cousin's wedding...hurry up September!

Four generations!

A stroller? Just for me??